Today I was healed-a story of loss

We recently asked for stories from the bone closers in our community. We wanted to run a competition to celebrate our 200th member! We wanted their experiences of both giving and receiving. We had many marvellous entries and will be sharing the winning entries here over the coming weeks. Here is our runner-up winner, Rosie, with her story.

I came along to the Closing the Bones Training about a year after my baby had died. I came along to learn this lovely nurturing ceremony to be able to offer it to women in my area.

I laid down to receive my massage fairly reluctantly. But it was towards the end of the ceremony as I was being rocked deep shudders started going through my body and as the rebozo was pulled tight around my pelvis I felt a huge emotion that even now I am not sure what to call it. It felt as though the protective bubble I had formed around myself moved away and with that my baby – as if I was releasing him. Sobs racked my body all the grief, the anger, the exhaustion  all the disbelief of what had happened came pouring out. I hadn’t realised how much I was holding on to.

I felt the women from the training form a circle around me and felt what it was like to have a safe space held for me, allowing me to just be there in my wild tumult of emotion. I heard someone singing the most beautiful song and someone stroking my hair, hands touching me sending love and support.

Gradually the emotions were spent and I was left to gather myself. It was a true healing experience and much needed so I could move on through the grief process. But also an awe inspiring experience to be held like that and to not have to explain myself to anyone present. To have done that would have negated the whole experience.
It showed me what a truly powerful ceremony Closing the Bones is. Later that day I wrote these words.

Today I was healed
I was closed and I was healed
I was held, the pieces of me
Were held together, so I could
Let my grief out.
In all its glory, its noise, its mess
To be surrounded by women
Who understood and didn’t understand
Today I was accepted for all that
I am
My journey acknowledged
No explanation necessary

You can find Rosie on her Facebook page, Labyrinth of Nurture.

4 Comments

  1. Dawn Matter on April 30, 2017 at 8:21 pm

    Oh Rosie, this is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Jessica Healy on April 30, 2017 at 8:48 pm

    Thank you for sharing. Beautiful. I feel drawn to using CTB to heal women who have lost babies xxx

  3. […] Today I was healed-a story of loss […]

  4. Pixie L Scorer on June 4, 2017 at 9:16 pm

    eyes leaking – thanks for the share.

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